Archive for the 'walk of shame' Category

Sailor Girl Has Nothing On Me


That chick has nothing on me.

I couldn’t write about her and then not share some of my classy college moments as well. We, here in Happy Valley, go hard or go home (this usually involves a slice of canyon pizza, drunken bus ride or the infamous walk-of-shame displayed by our very own Sailor Girl).

So, in a weird way I can understand her…although I pick good friends who will drive me home in the morning OR would allow me to borrow some sweatpants and a sweatshirt—yes, girlfriend there are ways to make your walk of shame easier and slightly less embarrassing. (Read the comments from my last post to get a great and very embarrassing story of my Aunt’s!)

I am no walk-of-shame professional. However, I am the queen of really bad and ridiculously embarrassing hangover stories. Look, I am not a fan of puke stories by any means but over the years that is how I have come to embarrass myself best.

Freshman year my parents came up for a make-shift parents weekend. Saturday night of this weekend I decided to go out after they went back to the hotel. Do I remember what went down that night?! Nope. But I am pretty sure I had a great time by the way I felt the next morning. My parents came by to take me out to breakfast and hang out before they headed back home but could I eat breakfast? Nope. That wasn’t going to happen. And good thing I didn’t because while shopping for Penn State gear I had to make a pit stop with my dad IN FRONT of Old State Clothing or whatever its called (the one with the big Lion doors that ROAR when you enter, you know, you know!). In a desperate search for a garbage can I puked in front of my dad, shoppers, employees and COLLEGE (FREAKING) AVENUE. Let’s keep in mind I was a freshman—I was classy from the very beginning. There is no better way to say goodbye to your parents your first semester of freshman year and make them feel proud to have raised such a responsible young adult. Good thing my parents know how to laugh. At me. While still taking care of me. Thanks guys!


Junior year I woke up excited to go Christmas tree shopping with my roommates and Sally’s family for our apartment. I also woke up hung over. The only thing I wanted: a milkshake. I had chocolate milk instead and started to feel better. Sally’s family came over to pick us up in the Suburban and head out on our Christmas tree adventure. We arrived at our first destination. At that point I needed some serious AIR. After walking around in the fresh PA air I was feeling soooo soooo soooo much better. Or so I thought. I rode shot- gun with Sally’s dad and we headed to a Christmas tree farm. This was going to be a 10 minute drive. About 5 minutes in I started to get hot and cracked the window. Then I had to make a decision. Puke in your purse OR attempt to roll down the window and hang your head outside the car. I did not have time for either option. How about I puke everywhere instead? Great plan…mission accomplished. Chocolate milk. That’s all I can say about that. So we end up pulling over and I have to strip down and sit in the back of the car while everyone else shops for Christmas trees wrapped in a blanket with the worst migraine and without pants.

You better be laughing right now.

So there are my two very unattractive very “collegiate” stories. I just couldn’t take it all out on walk-of-shame girl, we’ve all been there.

And if you haven’t, you are missing out.

Even if you end up without pants in front of your roommate’s family the story (someday) will totally be worth it.


Missing College?

If you are you will enjoy this story.

8 a.m.

A girl is walking up the hill to East Halls (freshmen housing). She is wearing a Navy uniform – Halloween style (you know short as whoa, high, high heels complete with a little Navy inspired cap over some serious BedHead).

Complete and total walk of shame.

In a costume.

Love it.

Only in college.