Archive for the 'Sunny' Category

What a Wonderful World

Every morning to wake us up in Conneaut you would play this record. You know how much I looked forward to it. You played it twice for me. You played with my hair, sat close to me on the couch and then whispered in my ear ” Shhhhh. Don’t tell anyone, but, you are my favorite grandchild.” And then we would laugh.

I see trees of green…….. red roses too
I see them bloom….. for me and for you
And I think to myself…. what a wonderful world.

You used to live on Rose Garden Lane. In the summer I slept over a lot. I would clean your office and you would pay me, my fingers pealed from the bleach I used. You gave us Indian names one night. We laughed so hard it hurt. You gave Rob ‘One who dances with self’ hahaha, I still laugh when I think of that. And you called me Lizard, which became Larizard, so I was ‘One who crawls on stomach’. You owned “How High” Austin Powers” and went to see Howard Stern’s “Private Parts” in the theater, alone, because no one would go with you.

I see skies of blue….. clouds of white
Bright blessed days….dark sacred nights
And I think to myself …..what a wonderful world.

It took 10 hours to get to Conneaut. You did the finger dance in the car. You always had music playing and you always sang. Mostly Motown. You didn’t sing loud, you sang almost in a whisper, but I heard you. For your funeral my mom and I put together “Sunny’s Songs” to play. The the first CD started with this song. I pretty much hyperventilated every time I heard it at the funeral. (and for two months afterward, now I can finally stand to listen to it!) Then there was the music from Gone With the Wind, your favorite movie. Our favorite movie. The last track was “I don’t need a girlfriend” by Lil’ Romeo. After our trip to the spillway Daniel, who was 3 just cried and cried. Nothing would make him stop, until we played this song. So you put it on repeat.

The colors of a rainbow… pretty the sky
Are also on the faces…..of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands…..sayin.. how do you do
They’re really sayin……I love you.

You were in a lot of pain. I kept trying to put the oxygen mask on your nose and mouth. You kept looking at me with eyes that looked so young, scared and confused. I hadn’t talked to you in four years, but I was there in the hospital. I would be there with my family for the next few weeks ‘ “Lizard?” “Yes Sunny?” “I love you.” ‘ Through your pain, that’s what you said to me. The last time you told me you loved me I couldn’t say it back. But that day in the hospital I told you I loved you too.

I hear babies cry…… I watch them grow
They’ll learn much more…..than Ill never know
And I think to myself …..what a wonderful world

There are 7 of us. You and Cassie had an indescribable bond. She couldn’t stop crying at your funeral. Proving to us all, you had a special relationship.

Olivia and Brian wanted Alfredo, Daniel wanted taquitos, Cassie needed to be fed applesauce and I had figure out what Kellee wanted, if she wanted anything at all.

Olivia was crying, she walked in on Daniel watching a scary movie…it wasn’t pretty. So I was holding her on one hip while trying to control the Alfredo and the taquitos and spoon the applesauce.

My parents and my aunts and uncles were with you, so was Madelyn.

I think we got a few calls. Telling us tonight was it.

I couldn’t cry, not yet. I had a crying baby clinging to me. We didn’t tell Daniel. Cassie knew, you could tell. But Olivia and Brian were too young.

A while after the taquitos, alfredo and whatever else, everyone came back from the hospital. Aunt Darla and Uncle Sean went to tell Daniel, he didn’t want to talk. But he let me hug him and cry. He just sat in his chair, head in his hands, all night.

Brian came into the room and hugged me too, then said in the sweetest, most sincere voice

It’s OK Lissa. I mean, we got two.

He made me laugh through my tears. You would have laughed too, in fact, you probably did.

That’s all I remember of the night you died, Sunny.

Yes, I think to myself. What a Wonderful World

You would look at me and I would look at you. You would point your perfectly manicured finger directly at me and together we would sing, just like Louis Armstrong:

Oh, yeah.

This was for my grandmother, Kathleen Ann Sunny, August 4, 1944- January 2, 2007