Archive for the 'spandex' Category

Let’s Get Physical

I learned a lot the first day of Physical Conditioning class:

1. Philly boy only owns one piece of athletic gear

2. Grumpy kid does not understand sarcasm

3. Avoid spandex, at all costs.

Physical Conditioning started last week with a hill workout. Rough. But I needed it.

Number 1 girl.

I even beat boys.

Yes, boys walked.

LB did not.

One kid wore jeans. Jeans?!

Hey pal! You are aware that you signed up for Physical Conditioning, right? It’ s not like it’s a surprise. You created your own schedule. You signed up for one of the most demanding KINES classes at PSU (yes, laugh at the fact I just said the most “demanding KINES class”) He says to the instructor, “I left my only pair of sweats in Philly.” Yes, that’s what he said. How old are we? I know it’s not that big of a deal but come on…

You go to Penn State. We live for and in sweatpants. Believe me, you should have seen me freshman year. All sweatpants. All the time.

I hope you are all proud of me, I actually came prepared.

All of the girls (6 total) and our instructor wore spandex.

Our instructor is a man. Yes, he wore “mandex,” and I loved every second of it—when I saw him walking down the hall I automatically thought “YES! Perfect blogging material.”

After the intense workout we cooled down with a walk. Some kid in the class was chatting it up with the instructor. (I know the instructor and he already sold me out the class about running the Marathon—talk about motivating me to be the number 1 girl, a little pressure…ehhhh) So, while having his little heart-to-heart with the instructor he adds, “I was nervous to take this class because I thought this would be a class of All-Star athletes,” while laughing.

As a joke–you know to break the ice, it was the first day of class– I said (sarcastically) “Are you saying I’m not an All-Star athlete?!”

Hehe, I am so clever. I gave a little smile…I was cute about it…some boys behind me joined in.

The kid looked at me –didn’t laugh or chuckle or giggle, not even a little –just looked at me. Turned back to the professor and continued to chat.

Ouch.

This might just be a very intense and sweaty class—with no human interaction because I am NOT funny. Nope not at all. Thanks, grumpy boy.

We then are instructed to run at our own pace back into the gym.

It’s simple. Boys are faster than girls, in most cases. There is no way my pace and the pace of the other 6 girls is faster than alllll of the boys in my class. I’m running in a pack with all the girls, not going very fast, when I look up.

The girl in front of me had on spandex. You could see her butt…HER ENTIRE BUTT. And while running it was quite the scene. Spandex is a very thin and revealing fabric…and this display brought that concept home. I looked to my right, another girl butt. Then I looked down. I too was wearing spandex and I too have a butt. I check over my right shoulder. All of the boys are running right behind us .

OH MY GOD. THEY ARE STARING AT OUR BUTTS. THIS IS SO TYPCIAL.

EHHHHHHHHHHH.

We get to the gym and our instructor congratulates us girls for being the leaders and adds that he has never seen that before.

“Well, it’s a better view from back here” jackhole says under his breath.

You guys know me well enough to guess what I did:

I looked at him and went “Ehhhhh.”

What a jackhole.

Many a lesson learned that day.

Tomorrow I will just shut-up, wear sweats and expect Philly boy to stink for the rest of the classes since he only owns one pair of sweats—hopefully his mom mailed them in time.