Archive for the 'Sad' Category

Peace Up. A-Town Down 2007

Goodbye.

TTYL.

You suck. Bye.

That’s what I have to say about 2007. As you can see I absolutely loved every second of it.

It hasn’t been an easy year for me. There has been too many deaths and some huge unwanted changes. Changes I can’t even write about. Therefor changes most of you don’t know about. Changes I am still desperately trying to adapt to.

I figured I would write this 2007 wrap-up and bitch and complain about everything that sucked about double-oh-seven. But nope. I won’t do it.

INSTEAD

Guess what I did in one year?

In one year I ran 615 miles. Six hundred and fifteen miles. 989 kilometers. I technically ran the width of the state of Virginia a little more than three times. The were a few months when I ran the width of Connecticut in those mere 30/31 days.

I ran a freaking marathon. I still can’t believe it. 26.2 miles. I did it.

I’ve been through 3 pair of sneakers as well as dozens of socks and sports bras. My feet have taken a huge beating in ’07. And guess what? They aren’t getting a break. I’ll keep running up, until and through ’08. Thank you Nike+.

I turned 21. A perfect age. The freedom to go out and get a drink is one I will always appreciate. Always. Self-medication (remember my year sucked?!)…yessss.

I landed three internships and was able to meet some pretty fabulous people through 2/3 of them! Not too bad. Because of the people I worked with and the trust they put in me and my work I feel prepared for this next step in ’08 called FIND A JOB.
And because one of those internships I started this blog. Without “I’ll think about that tomorrow” I would never have realized how much I love to write. I love, love, love, love, love it! And to read (check out my blogroll these people are amazing :)) Running and blogging have become my addictions. Healthy ones? I like to think so!

I got a job. I went to my classes. I got good grades. Blah.Blah.Blah. Not life’s highlights. Remember that. There is much more to life then those things. Even if they make your parents and grandparents proud. I say “whatever man.”

I dyed my blonde hair brown. And I loved it. In fact, love it. I’m still a seductive brunette. Going back to blonde eventually? Ehhhhh, I’ll think about that tomorrow 😉

I’ve been blessed to have amazing people in my life who love me. Who let me go through my shit and just stand-by. Or jump in when the shit hits the fan with simple cards that say “I love you”, hugs, tears, wine, surprise Bud Selects and long talks. Thank you. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for attempting to understand. And thank you for admitting you don’t! You know who you are. I love you and I promise I’ll get back to “normal” eventually. I promise. I know I shocked at least one of you by being “human”…so I might shock a few more by saying “yes, I am human.”:)

At the end of this year this is all I can think:

Through the hard times you learn the most about yourself. Even when you just want to say scream and cry as loud as you possible can “I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT MYSELF FOR NOW, THANK YOU. I AM READY TO STOP LEARNING IF THAT MEANS THINGS AREN’T GOING TO SUCK SO MUCH”

Hey, if on the 16th mile you feel like you are on top of the world don’t get too confident because by mile 22 you wish you could quit. But I’ve learned that if you are me, you don’t, won’t and can’t quit.

I keep running. Even if I have to walk up a few hills. I will cross the finish line. That’s just the type of person I am.

So thanks for teaching me that 2007. Although at the beginning of this post I wanted to erase you from my mind forever, I will hold the trials and accomplishments I have endured this past year close to me forever and ever.

It’s just another part of me.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence
by every experience in which
you really stop to look fear in the face.
You are able to say to yourself,
‘I lived through this horror.
I can take the next thing that comes along.'”
— Eleanor Roosevelt

*happy new year, 2008 will be fabulous*

2007: My “Golden” Year

That’s what I was told by a psychic in January. That psychic lied.

January 2, 2007 : My grandmother (Sunny) dies unexpectedly at age 62.

February 16, 2007: My aunt loses her battle with cancer at age 43, she leaves behind my cousin, 11.

And there is more, but I am not ready to write about it.

This year has been very tough for my family and I. And if there is one thing I have learned it’s that the world does not stop for anyone.

Don’t you just ever want a break? To be able to jump off and pause for 2 seconds to regain composure? School doesn’t stop. Activities don’t stop. Work doesn’t stop.

I go to a school with 43,000 other undergraduates. Most of my classes hold 150+ students so no one knows what you are going through. And that is scary. And I don’t know what they are going through either. It’s hard to comfort people if you don’t know. And if you have ever lost someone its not like you walk around telling complete strangers “Look, I just lost my grandmother.” It’s hard.

Sometimes you get bitter. You wonder why no one has asked you how your Christmas break was. And then when they do, you say “Fine” when you really should have told them the truth. Or should you have? Because you constantly think to yourself why put the burden upon them…ehhh so complicated when you aren’t around people you love and trust.

Then you are sitting on a bus and it hits you like a ton of bricks (really that’s EXACTLY what it feels like):

“Sunny is dead.”