Archive for the 'embarrassing' Category

My car isn’t in my driveway.

I woke up this morning in my comfy bed butt-ass naked with a towel on my head.

(How was that for an opening line? )

What the hell did I do last night?

Last night was Erin’s 22nd birthday. So, to celebrate we went to see Juno (hilarious, btw)  and then we went to this fabulous restaurant in Mystic, AZU. It was a night to celebrate Erin and was designed to be filled with delicious desserts and very expensive drinks, because we love her and we like to feel classy and chic on our minimum wage working- college girl budgets. We started with a shot.  Thanks waiter…all his idea. Then that was followed by a martini for each of us. Followed by dessert. Followed by 3 more martini’s and two more shots. Which was then followed by the biggest tab I have ever had to pay in my life. Fabulous. I’m probably going to be sick just from writing that….

And we weren’t done. We then made our way down to the Irish pub. I believe I had a cider here…this is where it apparently hits me and hits me hard. We ran into a high school friend at the pub, which was nice. I remember at one point singing Stevie Wonder’s version of “Happy Birthday” and impressing the older people at the pub with the fact that I knew it. Go me. I am so thoroughly embarrassed for myself.

Do I remember walking to Megan’s car? Nope. Not at all. (and don’t worry, Megan was our DD)  Do I remember how I got into my house last night? Nope. Not at all. Do I remember sticking my head out of Megan’s window to puke? Ehhhhh. Yes. Do I remember taking a shower and being in a lot of dumb drunken pain—and crying for my mom? Ehhhh. Yes. Vaguely.

So this morning at 8 a.m. I received two texts from Mifflin: “WAKE UP RIGHT NOW” Ehhhhhhhhhhhh, I’m hurting so bad what could he want?  Apparently I called him 3,444 times and sent him blank texts. Awesome. At least some of might was coming back to me at this point…mostly the fact that I needed to put on some clothes…

I looked in the bathroom. Clothes everywhere. Bra in the shower. Water still running, a little bit. Al Gore and Leo would be pissed, please don’t tell them.

Clearly, I am a disaster.

I head downstairs for water and to shove a slice of bread down my throat, a savior in these kinds of situations. I explained my “story” or lack there of to my mom. She laughed at me, made sure I had a DD…oh, mom… and told me to go back to sleep. Yes, ma’am.

Back into bed. I told Mifflin to wake me up at 10, he called I explained what I could/ apologized for being an annoying drunk, he laughed and said I didn’t drink that much (No Mifflin, I drank too much, don’t do that kids– it’s 8 p.m. and I am still in pain) and then called Megan.

Megan informed me that they brought me into my house. Through the back door. Apparently we couldn’t open the garage door. After checking my cell phone I realize why…I “called” my garage door in an attempt to open it. Yes, I dialed the code to open the garage door on my cell phone. Ehhhhhhhhhhh. LB. Clearly that wasn’t going to work out.

Megan also told me that she drove our high school friend home…he lives in the next town over…I totally missed that event.  She also let me know that my car was still at Erin’s. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHERE MY CAR WAS. I just figured it was in the driveway. It was not.


I have yet to pick the Vdub up. I should get on that.

I hope you had a much classier weekend.

I am really debating erasing this post now…ehhhh please don’t judge me! Maybe this will get some of you to share your worst/best hangover stories…maybe?!

Once again, lesson (s) learned.


12 Pains

Back in High School my best friends and I made this music video.

If my KathieLee secret wasn’t embarrassing enough…

12 Pains of Christmas 

 Merry Christmas!