Girls love accents.
False statement.
Because I, LB, do not.
I can barely communicate with people who speak the same language/sound like me…how the hell could I make sense of some guy who I can barely understand?
So let me set the scene:
I am sprinting around a mall in California, in a ponytail and sweatpants trying to come up with a fabulous $15 Secret Santa gift*.
*You all may be wondering why I would be purchasing a Secret Santa gift AFTER Christmas. You all happen to be very similar to my “buddy” at FYE, who informed me that “Santa was gone. (WITH AN ATTITUDE)” I told him, “Oh, no buddy, Santa apparently lives within me…” He then called me Santa (still with an attitude) as I checked out with my final purchase…leave me alone world!*
Anyways…
As I am sprinting here and there and everywhere attempting to be awesomely creative I walk past the dreaded carts of massagers and lotion sales people.
And there he was. Tall, dark and creepy. Headed straight for me.
LOOK AWAY LB, LOOK AWAY! LOOK AT YOUR PHONE, PRETEND TO TEXT!!! DO SOMETHING FAST!
I was not fast enough, as I sprinted he kept right up with me, for 3 whole stores. I looked at him, told him I can not try his lotion because I have sensitive skin and will breakout. He then asks me to look at my hand.
What do I do?
Show him my hand…LB, LB, LB.
I say I am not interested in his lotion…and yes, my hands are a disaster.
“May I ask you a personal question?” he asked in some fancy accent.
Taken aback by the accent I say…”What is it?”
“Are you married?” (this is the point I should have walked away, but I am still in “What are you saying?? mode”)
“No!”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No!” Why am I still answering these questions and talking with lotion man??
“How could you not have a boyfriend? I must have your number. I must call you.”
“Listen, I am not interested in your lotion or in giving you my phone number.”
“But I must! I must!”
Those were the last words I heard as I sprinted far, far away to never return to that mall. And definitely NOT to that lotion stand/area.
Who could I possibly attract next?
I'll think about that tomorrow. 
So why were you buying a secret santa gift anyway????
i would have punched him. seriously, that’s ridiculous and i’ve had my dealings with quite a few creepers. 🙂
Seriously…are the accent dudes hanging out at every mall these days??? I can no longer visit the GAP in Waterford because accent guy and I had a run in over my “laugh lines” needing some product. I am still bitter!