Skintastic

I have had some skin issues since I turned 20 and this summer my frustration reached its peak.

So I reached out to you fools for your advice. So I’d like to update Courtney, Mike, my Pops, Aunt Darla and Starshine because they shared their stories/offered advice.

When my mom came to visit in Portland we went to Sephora and asked them to HELLLLLLLLLP me!

We met a woman who went through the same thing as an adult. She said stress was a huge factor so to begin with she “detoxed” herself aka used a lazative to remove all toxins from her body.

At this point I was desperate…OK I’ll do it.

(this was not fun and i’ll never take a laxative, ever, ever again. I was crying, and lying in the shower and was out of commission for almost 48 hours. this might be TMI but both ends people, both ends.)

She also took us to the Boscia section in Sephora.

Boscia is a preservative free skin care line that has products with what they call “Botanical Blast” that fight bad acne. The company does not advertise and is made in Japan. The products are expensive but I have to say…

TOTALLY WORTH IT!

They are so gentle and they work for me. I don’t use the whole entire line anymore.  I started with all and found that all I need is the face wash, oil make up remover and moisturizer.

Now to fight zits on the spot at night I use Benzoyl Peroxide ($1.97 @ Walmart) and during the day a new product by Neutragena ($9) it fights zits with salicylic acid and it is also supposed to fade acne scars.

So that, my friends and awesome advice givers, is where you come in. As this is my most recent skin issue.

HOW DO I GET RID OF THESE SCARS?

I can’t fully see a difference with this new Neutrogena stuff, so if you know anything help a girl out!

Thanks in advance!

Lotion: Boy #2

Girls love accents.

False statement.

Because I, LB, do not.

I can barely communicate with people who speak the same language/sound like me…how the hell could I make sense of some guy who I can barely understand?

So let me set the scene:

I am sprinting around a mall in California, in a ponytail and sweatpants trying to come up with a fabulous $15 Secret Santa gift*.

*You all may be wondering why I would be purchasing a Secret Santa gift AFTER Christmas. You all happen to be very similar to my “buddy” at FYE, who informed me that “Santa was gone. (WITH AN ATTITUDE)” I told him, “Oh, no buddy, Santa apparently lives within me…” He then called me Santa (still with an attitude) as I checked out with my final purchase…leave me alone world!*

Anyways…

As I am sprinting here and there and everywhere attempting to be awesomely creative I walk past the dreaded carts of massagers and lotion sales people.

And there he was. Tall, dark and creepy. Headed straight for me.

LOOK AWAY LB, LOOK AWAY! LOOK AT YOUR PHONE, PRETEND TO TEXT!!! DO SOMETHING FAST!

I was not fast enough, as I sprinted he kept right up with me, for 3 whole stores. I looked at him, told him I can not try his lotion because I have sensitive skin and will breakout. He then asks me to look at my hand.

What do I do?

Show him my hand…LB, LB, LB.

I say I am not interested in his lotion…and yes, my hands are a disaster.

“May I ask you a personal question?” he asked in some fancy accent.

Taken aback by the accent I say…”What is it?”

“Are you married?” (this is the point I should have walked away, but I am still in “What are you saying?? mode”)

“No!”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No!” Why am I still answering these questions and talking with lotion man??

“How could you not have a boyfriend? I must have your number. I must call you.”

“Listen, I am not interested in your lotion or in giving you my phone number.”

“But I must! I must!”

Those were the last words I heard as I sprinted far, far away to never return to that mall. And definitely NOT to that lotion stand/area.

Who could I possibly attract next?

Call Me Anytime: Boy #1

So it’s been at least a month since I’ve been single and as a girl on the road dating is not really an (easy) option.

But I, somehow, have managed to attract the highest quality individuals, America has to offer.

You all should know about the old man I attracted just days after the break-up.

But I didn’t stop there. While in the Bay Area I managed to pick-up Jason.

You know it’s going to be good when the conversation begins with:

“What’s your name?” – me

“Ummm…you know like in the horror films?” – boy

“Michael?” – me

“No! Jason!” – Jason

So from there Jason handed his disposable camera to Cheese and asked her to please use up the remaining pictures on the camera.

There were 20 pictures lef t to be taken.

Awesome.

Needless to say I posed for a few….seven.

During the photos Jason, 32,  let us know that his evil girlfriend broke up with him on Valentine’s Day and married a new guy the same day!

Oh, M, G!

Poor, poor Jason.

I then said “Well, Jason, it has almost been a year…don’t you think you should move on?”

“Sorry, sorry, ” said Jason (you know like in the horror films)

He asked me if I had a boyfriend. We all know the answer to that one…

And then gave me his digits. I wrote them on a stray piece of paper. He told me to leave a voicemail, he pays as he goes so he will call me back.

I could call him anytime I happen to be free. Anytime.

Cheese and I then asked him what he likes to do. Well, Jason hangs out at the mall in his spare time. And he is jobless. And not at all interested in looking.

We told him that girls like a guy who has a J-O-B. He said, “Well, my dad just died…girls like guys who have inheritance don’t they?”

I think he even gave me  side-eyes with a wink at this point.

Owwww! Owww!

We told him we don’t…we like jobs more. But secretly I thought to myself…I’m sure some girls would do just fine with a guy with inheritance dinero coming in (and I have totally met them with this job)…but Jason needed motivation.

” Jason, don’t you get bored without a job?” I asked.

“No. I have a portable DVD player.”

Awesome.

And then his mom came out of the grocery store and they  headed to Red Lobster for lunch.

I can call Jason anytime, leave  him a voicemail,  and he would get back to me.

What a catch.

Cx3 Day 4

I had to speed up my workout today so it was semi-lame.

A night full of weird “I can’t remember them later” nightmares results in a late wake up and not enough time to workout/pack/organize my life.

So I speed biked just short of 7 miles in 22 minutes-ish.

At least I did it right?

Oh, and in addition to working out I need to up my water drinking. I drank so much (yes both water and alcohol) in college but I have slacked since I hit the road.

So lucky you! There is also a water count in addition to my awesome food log!

______________________________

Food Log (b/c you all don’t care)

Breakfast: Whole Wheat Toast, PB and Raisins

Lunch: 6 inch Subway Turkey grinder, Baked Lays, half a cup of Sprite

Dinner: Small bag o’ popcorn, no butter, at the movies, and a garden salad with balsamic vinaigrette, diet iced tea

Dessert: AVOIDING free cookies in the hotel lobby….woooof

Water Count:

2 Bottles of water…embarrassing

Happy Birthday Today

Happy Birthday Today to a Best Friend.

To a girl I’ve called How-Way

To a girl I’ve called Como-Y

To a girl who has always been the tallest…even in pre-school

To a girl who has always been the smartest…even in pre-school

To the girl I was “too cool” to play with in pre-school but has continued to be my best friend even in her 23rd year.

To the girl who gives the best Secret Santa presents, they always have a theme.

To the girl who is getting her doctorate, straight out of Undergrad!

To the girl who lived right down the street.

To the girl who loves to make cookies.

To the girl who shared with me her Irish adventure!

To the girl who introduced me to Irish Cider.

To the girl who let me celebrate her 22nd birthday…in an out of control fashion.

To the girl who I spend every New Years Eve with.

To the girl who will drive me around South Eastern CT in a minivan!

To the only girl I would go to both a wedding and a christening with and wonder things about life on the drive to and from.

To the girl stuck in an airport as she turns 23.

Happy 23rd Birthday Erin!

You are an old, old lady and I am glad to watch you get older while I hold on to my youngness…at least for 4 more months!

Crazy x 3 Day 2 + The Bangs

So along with crazy stories of my life I will be keeping an exercise log/ food log on this here blog.

Lucky you.

Maybe I’ll be motivating…maybe I’ll be embarrassing…maybe no one will give a damn. Hey, it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Because I can do WHATEVER I want on my little space on the internet

So for day 2 I biked for 60 mins @ difficulty level 10.

It was nice, harder than yesterday, just building and retraining my running legs at this point.

Oh, I got a new haircut for 2009.

Bangs.

Yup. Bangs.And the hair is back to being super blonde. Here is a first pick for you:

The Bangs are actually a bit more funky and cool, this picture doesn’t capture all that but I haven’t yet had a new haircut photo shoot. But give me time and I will!

And added bonus, they are long enough that I can bobby pin them back during my workouts! Holler!

_______________________________

Food Log (b/c no one cares about this but me)

Bfast: Wheat Toast with PB

Lunch: Half a Ham and Swiss Sandwich, Baked Lays and Chocolate Teddy Grahams

Dinner: Cinnamin Teddy Grahams, Breadsticks w/ Marinara Sauce and a hot chocolate…healthy, I know.

Crazy x 3

Triathlon Training Day One.

Woof.

So how does a girl living on the road train for a triathlong?

You and I are about to find out.

Today I biked for 60 minutes on my hotel’s bike. Diffuculty level 7.

Note to self: Difficulty level 7…not too difficult.

Oh, and I should warn you all…I am a HORRIBLE bike rider. I have the balance and all that jazz down but its the speed…on a casual bike ride I can’t even keep up with people. In my past I have gotten myself so far behind/ lost that my parents had to call the Police/Ambulances on Block Island to retrieve me. I should also mention that GPS and Mapquest save my life on a daily basis…

So it is time for LB’s butt and quads to get some serious action…

Also I am back to training mode on all accounts. Which includes FOOD.

I’ve been eating for 22 years, you think I’d be sick of it by now. But, nope.

So for breakfast..even thought there were bagels at my hotel’s breakfast… I grabbed whole wheat toast with peanut butter.

Hey, as my boy 50 says “if i can’t do it… homie it can’t be done”

“It was nice sleeping with you.”

A poem for me. Created by an interesting gentleman in 1st Class on Northwest/Delta airlines.

What is my life?

Titled: LB

“I recently made a trip to Seattle,

a place known for coffee, not for cattle.

When I got on the plane, all was dandy,

for next to me was nice eye candy.

Tho’ not a cheerleader, as I had dreamed,

her profession required more than seemed.

The store she told was interesting and real,

can you believe she actually drives that mobile?

Her name is LB, a Penn State grad,

she’s from Connecticut, and she is bad!

That brief encounter brightend my life,

I hope she never tells my wife-

that we slept together.”

So, all I did was  take a nap! Just a simple nap on a plane. But before I fell asleep my seatmate (the poem writer) says, “If I don’t tell you when you wake up, it was nice sleeping with you.”

Awkwarrrrrd.

This is an old man mind you, so at the time it wasn’t too terribly awkward. That was until I woke up and he said “Good Morning Sunshine!” and handed me the poem.

Talk about  awkard .

There was still an hour before we would land. And he had me read it while I was sitting there next to him. Oh and before we landed he handed me his business card, with his cell phone number on it AND said “If you ever want to buy me a drink.”

Ehhhhhhh.

But at least I had a poem.

Oh! And before I told him what I did he thought I was a Seattle Seahawk’s cheerleader. Because he has a dream about sitting next to one on the airplane. I didn’t ask for too many details about this dream…

Ehhhhhh. Yet, again.

No one has ever written me a poem…well that’s a lie, SallyJo and Erin have.

OK! no guy/old man has ever written me a poem. Most likely for the pure reason I would throw up in my mouth if someone did.

Hopeless romantic, aren’t I?!

So apparently my life is beyond weird– both on the ground and the sky…I can’t escape it.

But if that’s the price I have to pay for some extra leg room and free wine…sign me up.

Wine Nazi

Some hotels have free wine and beer, known fondly as The Manager’s Reception.

I LOVE THEM!

Free wine.

Free beer.

Free cheese.

Free crackers.

It is mostly all business people who attend, as we are usually the only ones there on a Tuesday or Wednesday night. Not to brag or anything but… I know a lot about manager’s Receptions.

1. Mingle with the other business people. Sit down with a loner, there is oh, so much to talk about, like where are you from? what do you do? what is there to do around here? The script pretty much doesn’t change from state to state.

2. Chat it up with the managers. Become their BFFs. It can work wonders, and even get to wine delivery service…straight to your glass.

3. If you eat enough crackers and cheese it also double as a free dinner

4. Only three drinks are permitted. No more, LB. No more.

4. Bring Your ID.

It’s a toss up, as to whether or not you need your ID, but as a business traveler I look a lot younger than everyone else. So its always on me.

At one certain hotel it took the wine and beer pourer 5 minutes to stare down my license.

“Oh, I see you are just old enough to drink,” she said while squinting at my ID.

“No, actually I’m 22, about to be 23, ” I replied. I really wanted to say “No, no lady! I’ve been drinking for yeaaaarrrrssss, now fill up that cup!”

But, I refrained.

She then decided that I was cleared and deserved a shot of wine. A think layer of wine was poured into the bottom of my plastic cup. I had wine at the Manager’s Reception the night before and got a decent half a glass of wine. Not tonight. I decided to be cool.

I sat down with my coworker and another business person and started our normal Manager’s Reception chat. After one sip, I was out of wine. So, I headed back for my 2nd glass. She shakes her head at me and pours me another “shot.” I enjoy my taste and before the Reception shuts down and go up for my third and final attempt at a  complimentary glass of wine.

She looks at me, shakes her head, AGAIN!, and says “Alright, that’s enough. You are only 22.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa lady!

Can you believe this?

I complained the the manager who offered her deepest aplogiies…but still no wine.

I took matters into my own hand and skipped the reception the next night.

Instead I hung out in my room with a $4.97 bottle of wine from good ol’ Walmart.

How I Would Have Played Me

Mifflin,

If you were planning on playing me here are some tips on how you could have actually  been successful.

To begin with, step up your game.

Playing people is old. You know you can hook up with people left and right if you want, so just do that. Why hold on to people, like me, if you aren’t planning on treating me well?  That just seems like wayyyy too much work to me.

Also, if you want to end a relationship, have the balls to end it. Pushing the girl away by not returing calls or texts doesn’t do that. That just digs you deeper and deeper into a hole. And t eventually you have to try to climb out of. And saying you f-ed up doesn’t usually work.

If you aren’t happy; end it. That’s all I was trying to do.

And buddy, you are 23. You have to deal with things, that is part of life. Even the things that aren’t perfect. Get over yourself and step up. Be a man. You might actually feel good about yourself.

Well, since you are attempting to have multiple “relationships” at once here are some tips.

1. Treat the girl who is coming to see you in a special way. Don’t make her feel like you could careless that she was there from the get go. She will suspect something.

2. Set aside a night to spend with her. Especially if her suitcase is at your house. In your room. And you both decided she would stay with you…dumbass.

3. Don’t leave her stranded at a club.

4. Answer her phone calls/ texts.

5. Don’t invite the other girl over at the same time the girl who came to see you is there. As long as one girl is gone before the other girl gets there you are good to go. It’s really not that hard.

Hope these tips help you in your future. It seems like a  classy and a promising one. I would hate for you to continue with your sloppy game. It is a disaster and you should know that.

~LB

p.s. I am sure there are more things you did while I was on the road, I am not dumb and I know you know that. But for some reason I let them go. I excused you. I apologize to all the other girls in your present and future for helping you think you can get away with whatever you want. I learned. Hopefully you do someday.