round and round, round and round. The wheels on the CATA bus go round and round all through Happy Valley.

Ehhhhhhhh. Not today.

The rumors are true, I live off campus.

“Oh, my God! How can you live so far away ?!” <—– this is the average PSU student’s reaction when I say where I live.

People….it’s a five minute drive to campus. A ten minute bus ride and yes, I use public transportation! (My Aunt is still shocked by this, why I will never know!)

How do I get on and off campus? CATA Buses.

How is the CATA bus system treating you this year, LB? CATA Buses SUCK.

And what did you learn today?

1. I learned that you really shouldn’t say that the CATA buses suck.

2. And that you should NEVER say that the CATA bus driver sucks.

3. Because if you do, you can get arrested.

Let me set the scene for you.

It’s 6 p.m. on Thursday evening aka Thirsty Thursday aka get me off campus as fast as possible day.

While waiting for the bus I call Megan. As I am chatting it up to her my bus pulls up (LUCKY ME!) and I am the last person allowed on and there is a loooooonnnnnggggg line behind me, so that’s pretty much balla status right there.

In that long line behind me there was someone who was not too happy with the line’s cut off point.

Not that this cut-off is ever announced. The bus driver just slams the doors in your face. I’ve been there, I’ve done that. But I’ve never done this:

The student on the sidewalk yells at the doors something to the extent of “I am not a fan of you Mr. Bus driver” but in a much more profane way. I couldn’t hear the extent of it…I was on the phone with Megan, remember? The bus driver responds:

” Say it again!”

The kid repeats himself.

Ehhhhhhh.

The bus driver opens the door. Still buckled in, he says, “If I wasn’t working I would paint the sidewalk with you, kid.”

Oooooo.

“Megan, I am going to have to call you back!” I hang up the phone.

I had to catch the action/protect myself if there was going to be any sidewalk painting going on!

Bus Driver: “Stay right there. I am calling the police, ” he says the the student.

The Student: “Just drive away. You’re just a bus driver on a huge power trip.”

Bus Driver picks up the phone and calls CATA. “I have a guy with a backwards, gray NIKE cap now walking East on College who is calling me names, can you send the police?”

Don’t worry folks, law enforcement is on the way!

The 5′ 3″ bus driver gets out of his seat, jumps out of the bus and does the “I am such a manly-man” pulling up of the pants by the belt/rearranging/ re-tucking-in his CATA issued t-shirt.

Let’s recall the fact that the bus is PACKED. Kids in the back are yelling at me to drive the bus. Yea…not happening. As Tracy Morgan would say “Das crazzzzzy!”

Then, some angry passenger decides to call CATA headquarters, as he leaves the bus. Followed by more “abandon ship”mentality passengers.
Angry passenger says to CATA “Well, you have 50 angry students on your bus. You need to control your bus drivers. blahblahblahblahityblahblah”

Oh, the drama.

Never fear, the PoPo show up.

I admit it. I got off the bus. Look, I wanted to get home and I wasn’t about to voluntarily wait around while the angry bus driver got his revenge. But, the bus I tried to get on was packed so, I had to head back….

As I try to get back on the now empty bus, home of the “Grumpy Elf Bus Driver” Mr. Bus Driver  tries to pick a fight with me…while being interviewed by police.

“Excuse me young lady, where do you think you are going?” he says as he walks through the PoPo to get to me.

“Back on the bus,” I say as I show him my bus pass, while making my way on the bus without his permission while a little 50 cent is boom bangin’ on my IPOD.
He couldn’t stop me.

The PoPo couldn’t stop me.

I’m a Happy Valley, bus-riding bad ass.

(Kanye and 50 CD review coming soon…I’m sorry my own life is so gangsta I haven’t had a chance to write about the rappers.)