1,080 = not enough

Mike once told me to cherish my last few semesters in college. He told me to go out and have a drink–even when I should be studying– because those moments are the ones I will remember and in a few short months they won’t ever be in my life again. (and this was during an interview for an internship—-> thanks for the slacker advice (at least that’s what I thought at the time!) )

When he said this to me I was a junior and kind of shrugged it off and thought to myself “ehhhh, why is he being so sentimental about all of this, it’s just the end of college.” I thought about it: College is only a mere four years of my life– after spending 18 years creating relationships and sharing experiences with people from home how could only mere 1,080 days even compare?

Now, this might come as a shock to you but I am not always right.

I know, breathe in, breathe out…we are going to get through this together. I am sure that was hard to hear. I should have warned you.

And let me just add that there there are times (although seldom) when I am very, very, very wrong. Here, in this case, when Mike was trying to give me the best advice EVER I blew it off.

Bad move, LB, bad move.

During the first week of the semester I kept wondering why I felt like such a slacker. I was going to all of my classes but I was not organized and I wasn’t worried about not being organized. As the weeks progressed I have manged to get done what I need to get done but I still don’t feel like I am all here–in the classroom. I would much rather be in my living room talking about “our people,” our days, our pasts, our futures, watching excellent T.V. programs like “Redneck Weddings” with my roommates or just being with Mifflin— going out to eat, folding laundry, attempting to keep that boy’s room clean, all of which (surprisingly) has meant more to me than those events ever have.

If I hadn’t come six hours away to the Happy Valley I would have NEVER met Emily, Heather, Mifflin and who knows where Sally and my relationship would stand four years after high school (and the fact that she doesn’t live in CT anymore). And I only list these four people but there are quite a few more I have been extremely close to over these past four years– and honestly when will I see them again after May?

At least my high school friends and I all have the same hometown. Emily is from the ‘burgh, Heather is from New Mexico, Sally is now from State College and Mifflin is from Indiana—will we all ever be in the same place again? Probably not, and that is really sad to think about.

I am fully confident I will graduate in May–even if I continue to be as unorganized as I am today– and I am ready. But everyday, with every sip of a Bud Select, with every repeated episode of “America’s Next Top Model” with every4 minute drive to see the people I love I realize how much has happened to me and to us all in these past four years.

There were times here at Penn State when I was not of the fan of the person I was but without those feelings I would not have become the person I am really digging now

So for these next few months I will continue to enjoy every moment with these people, in this apartment, at these bars and in this Valley because sometimes I think

this is all I got.

And although that can sound sad and maybe even a little lonely, I couldn’t be happier to feel this way about these people and this place.

So Mike, I listened to you before but now, I hear you